Urban Poly Princess

I wanted to do this for the less active sister Kristen that I visit. Helene and Carline were my sole attendees who didn't bring anything but that was alright since it was just the two of them. I made musubi and chicken stir-fry with noodles. Lauresa gave me an entire cheesecake for the "potluck"My friend from work invited me over and I was looking forward to that BUT I didn't go since I had no idea who would show up at this thing. I didn't see Kristen during sacrament meeting but Carline sat with her and told me she invited her to come over too. I wish she came.

Helene was talking about how she'll go on a date with anyone at least once. I won't. I didn't tell her that. I think anyone has the right and SHOULD refuse who they want to refuse ANYTIME. I don't see the problem with that. My friend said the same thing when I first met him. I feel pretty strongly about this however. I don't like wasting my time and I'm not going to spend time with you unless I want to do that. OR UNLESS the spirit tells me otherwise. AND UNLESS IT DOES THAT IS JUST FINE WITH ME!!!

I really want to apologize for overreacting. I don't want him to feel bad. I still can't believe he said that though. I'm sick of a lifetime of people making assumptions about me OR Polynesia. I'm either an idiot OR DON'T have a testimony. OR if I have one people are condescending and talk about how brown people have this childlike faith that is such a gift. My testimony is a gift. Maybe I do have childlike faith a good thing UNLESS it's said in a very condescending way which is all too often the case.

I don't think my friend is racist BUT between he and this other girl's talk today I felt that and I didn't like it. I know I'm oversensitive, it's just happened so much that I can't help but go there when things like this happen. I'm not trying to be this sensitive person that starts tripping over nothing. It just isn't nothing to me although I know expecting people to be aware of how they are being offensive is stupid.

I DIDN'T want to get upset with my friend BECAUSE our friendship is always so volatile. His temper is as bad as mine. How can that be a good thing???!!!

Our choir song went well. Jenny is a sweetie pie. She gave me a hug when I said bye to her at our last RS meeting and then again before she went with her boyfriend after sacrament meeting today. Today this girl gave a talk in sacrament meeting that got on my nerves. I guess my annoyance got in the way of feeling her spirit she brought with her. I know I was wrong. I need to repent. She talked about Elder Groberg going to Hawaii on his mission and suffering starvation. NOOO he didn't go to Hawaii he went to TONGA and NOT the main island, a little island in the Tongan group.

In Sunday School I should've sat by my friend but I walked in with Erin so I didn't want to leave her to sit with him. That was o.k. only I should've known his #1 fan would be ready to sit by him. I was already annoyed by what the girl who gave her talk said THEN my friend makes a very irritating comment about Hawaii and how you can probably walk from one end to the other in no time at all. I contradicted him in front of the whole class. This was sooo uncalled for but I was so annoyed. He was fine, I was still ticked and so I asked him when he was leaving where he had been in Hawaii. He started to answer like a reasonable person BUT I was not feeling reasonable. He was smart and just walked away from me.

Sooo I am the one who gets mad at the drop of a hat and his friend NEVER gets mad. He told her this earlier today.

Anger management problems? Perhaps. I just haaate confronting people without a clue. Not knowing about Tonga or Hawaii is fine. This girl had made a snide comment about my intelligence before. That is part of the reason why what she said made all my hackles rise. My friend hasn't ever done that BUT I was so mad that of all people WHEN he's actually been there-granted small little Kauai-BUT STILL it was NOT appreciated at all. I know I overreacted. I wanted to talk to him and apologize BUUUT he was sitting by someone I can't stand. I saw him again and this time he was sitting by his friend who is VERY in to him. Sometimes it seems like he likes her too BUT he told me from the beginning that he didn't like her although the fact that he doesn't seem to remember telling me that almost from the beginning of our friendship is weird. If he is ANYWHERE she will find him and hover around him. She's like a bug I'd like to spray. Now I'm just being catty.

They changed our fhe group AGAIN. I'm in group 8 with Mindie and ALL the Slaters so I'm sure I'll be combining often with my friend's group. I'm supposed to be having a potluck here. I have no idea who is going to show up. I agreed to do it ONLY because of my less active sister Kristen who said she'd attend our potluck. I didn't want her to have no place to go.

I woke up and immediately began to mix some rolls because I was craving them all day yesterday and I didn't do anything about that. The dough is rising the first time now. I'm also boiling saimin noodles to eat with the rest of my spaghetti sauce. Yesterday I made some macaroni and cheese but I stirred in a can of tuna. It was good. My tuna is lasting FOREVER-I've made tuna sandwiches numerous times and also tuna casserole. I like the macaroni and cheese thing. I finished the last of my spam about 2 weeks ago. Both are good investments. I should always carry both. I'd also like to start carrying canned chicken. All are good sources of protein and last forever. It's good to have to break up with my fresh meat.

I like Kayleen's basement apartment. I like how she has it furnished. Jodie is awesome. I'm glad she went with me there. Kayleen has an interesting job with this company that makes amusement rides for people all over the world.

She insisted she ISN'T inactive but just works on the weekends. I don't know how true that is. Hearing her talk about her weekend job made me feel like I should work weekends BUT I already decided to teach online. Since I'm teaching English 98 for one week each module I decided to do that a few months before I apply to do that online. That will give me specific writing teaching experience that will look better on an online teaching application. I need to make sure Stevens-Henager doesn't abuse me. I told Bryan I want to do Tuesday/Thursday evenings AND mornings. It's just one week out of the module that happens every 4 weeks.

I should probably buy myself some more cadbury mini-eggs for Easter. I want to buy something different although I'm not sure what. We do have a potluck Sunday after church BUT I want something special to commemorate it at home. I don't really have any ideas.

I want to eat something but I'm not sure what I want to eat. I should probably bake something- bread or rolls.

I received an email from Dean Heather Gunn saying she submitted my thesis grade to the registrar. I don't know what had to happen BUT I do know I don't need to follow up with Sharla now. I wonder if she had to call Alan Hansen before this occurred. George called me in the meantime and told me how much he likes Alan Hansen and that he was the original person who hired him years ago. Interesting. Soon after I spoke with George it happened.

If I go into work anyway I can check to see for sure that it's on the system although it may take until Monday. I guess I'll just wait to see it happens Monday.  I don't know what the problem was but I don't really care. I'm just glad it's done now.

I got so riled up I didn't post my scripture reading or conference talk.

Helaman 8
1 And now it came to pass that when Nephi had said these words, behold, there were men who were judges, who also belonged to the secret band of Gadianton, and they were angry, and they cried out against him, saying unto the people: Why do ye not seize upon this man and bring him forth, that he may be condemned according to the crime which he has done?

The wicked take the truth to be hard. The spirit always reveals truth whether someone wants that or not. It's funny to me how they are all getting mad at Nephi because he is able to perceive their sins.

The Atonement - Boyd K. Packer

I just got up and I am filled with stiff muscles from NOT doing Zumba OR skating for 2 days AND falling asleep in front of the couch trying to watch playful kiss. AFTER I do Zumba I''m going to work to remind my boss to contact Alan Hansen the Online director. I am annoyed about something else too. While they dropped my enrollment status, it is only recently that they changed my last IP or in-progress grade to an F. There should be a record of that in the electronic file. NO ONE EVER CONTACTED ME ABOUT THAT. I ALSO TRIED TO SEE DARREN ADAMSON IN PERSON TWICE WHEN I WAS IN SALT LAKE. IF THEY HAD EVER CONTACTED ME SOMETHING WOULD'VE HAPPENED.  I AM DEFINITELY BRINGING THAT UP TO SHARLA. PERHAPS I SHOULD SEND A DETAILED EMAIL TO ALAN HANSEN AND THEN GET MY DIRECTOR SHARLA TO FOLLOW UP.

I'm going to ask her first if I should email the online director. Whatever happens I plan to go to work to see Sharla asap.

I visited Michelle Hinkes with Melissa first and then Kristen Sylvester with Lauresa. Michelle was married before as was Kristen and Lauresa. That is much more common in my ward than I had supposed. A lot of people have kids too. It's much more prevalent in the ward than I thought. I read a blog posting by some girl in a mid-singles ward in Salt Lake City with 6 relief societies. She said there was a division between people who had been married before and those who hadn't been married. Her ward had over 600 members. Sarah and Carline expressed similar sentiments. Sarah and Carline were both married before too. I'm sure the brethren have their reasons for allowing such huge mid-singles wards but I don't know what it is.

I'm actually glad when I FINALLY attended a mid-singles ward it was here in Logan. I like my ward. There are goofy people in it BUT that's consistent with ANY singles wards even the YSA wards. I think because we're in an older ward the back-biting is not as pronounced, BUT it's still there. People are just more subtle. When I left my Tonga singles ward in Salt Lake City they changed a lot of things. The YSA ward first of all kicked out anyone over 30 and sent them to the mid-singles wards. The Tongan wards couldn't be part of the Tongan stakes anymore. When I told my former counselor in the stake presidency I was thinking about attending a family ward soon because the single adults kept getting younger and younger, he told me I wouldn't feel comfortable there and to remain in the Tongan YSA ward.

Kristen had the Twilight series AND several works by Ayn Rand. Rand is one of the strangest authors I've EVER read. Thought-provoking but reading that much propaganda was annoying. I like books that make you think BUT NOT books that want you to consider EVERY single thing a certain way especially if you don't believe everything they spout off or try to promote. Everything had a purpose AND I didn't like everything that was suggested. Irritating agenda-writing.

Easter Sunday is coming up. I need to buy some chocolate just for myself!!!

I CALLED DEAN HEATHER GUNN WHO DID NOT TAKE MY PHONE CALL!!! IT'S SHARLA TIME!!!

I emailed Dean Heather Gunn to ask WHEN my MBA would be conferred. She hasn't responded yet. I talked to my Director because this is sooo NOT COOL AND RIDICULOUS!!! She told me to call Heather first to resolve this. I let her know I want to give her a couple hours to respond to my email before I call her. Sharla said she'll call if this doesn't work.

I am going with Melissa to see Michelle Hinks at 6:30 because no one else could do it. I'm just going to make sure I'm not in the middle of something near the end of work. It's my Friday so after the visits I can just crash and sleep. I decided to try skating in the tennis courts near Logan High School. There is a fence around the court that I can use to steady myself. I don't want to use my gas OR money to the Fun Park. I don't know who Kristen Sylvester is so I'm going to look her up in the ward directory.

I will call Heather Gunn at 1pm if I don't hear from her. I don't know what the problem is!!! I don't want to go through a weekend of not knowing.

Yesterday Judy came to work early on her own and I was able to attend the Cache Valley Library Association meeting held at the Richmond Public Library on time. Juliene Parrish, the director, showed us how to drill and then sew books together when they are falling apart. Attendance was awesome and the director of the Family Search Library (the NEW name!!!) attended. I've tried sooo many times to get them involved in CVLA. He said he received an email about it and was happy to attend. I CAN'T believe NO ONE has ever given him the word!!!

A photographer from the Herald Journal attended. His name is Eli. I recognized him from my internship. When I mentioned it to him he said he recognized me right away and asked me if I was there 8-9 years ago. NOOO!!! TRY 2 1/2 years ago when I first moved to Logan!!! Pam is awesome!!! She has supported CVLA from the beginning and is one of our members-at-large. She knows how to work a room. So do I. I like her because she is outgoing and friendly. These are characteristics unfortunately that many librarians DO NOT have. Professionally it is what is the most fun for me, meeting new people and learning about what they do. She is the engineering librarian at USU. I asked her if she knew David awhile ago but she told me she works with all engineers BUT the electrical engineers.

It is so incredible to see something I created take off and become the organization it has become. I will ALWAYS be pleased with this!!! CVLA and getting my MBA have made Logan worth it!!!

Helaman 7
8 Yea, if my days could have been in those days, then would my soul have had joy in the righteousness of my brethren.

9 But behold, I am consigned that these are my days, and that my soul shall be filled with sorrow because of this the wickedness of my brethren.
SERIOUSLY Nephi-this is what I typically remember-the people in general being wicked and Nephi praying and lamenting the state of the wicked at the top of his lungs on a tower in his garden and a multitude of people gathering and surprising him when he is done. Yes this is sad BUT what about all the miracles in chapter 5???!!! Converting 8000 Lamanites is no small task. Angelic ministers, being surrounded by fire but NOT burnt, left protected and untouched. After having so much success it must have been so difficult for Nephi to witness the fall of his people into wickedness. At least the Lamanite people remained faithful to the truth they had received through Nephi and Lehi. He wishes he were born at another time. I doubt he would've traded those miraculous experiences in chapter 5 even if he was rejected before he returned to Zarahemla discouraged.

The Caregiver - Henry B. Eyring General RS Meeting
With all your differences in personal circumstances and past experiences, I can tell you something of what lies ahead for you. As you keep the faith, you will find yourself invited by the Lord often to serve someone in need when it will not seem convenient. It may appear to be an unpleasant and perhaps even impossible task. When the call comes, it may seem you are not needed or that someone else could easily give the succor.


Since this talk is recorded in the Ensign Conference Issue AND is online with the other conference talks I felt it was appropriate to read. It is a talk about service. It's only after reading that conference talk that I've thought about how we need to pray for and be aware of opportunities to give service daily. What a blessing that is!!! Yesterday after my CVLA meeting my uncle Laie came over after his rugby game. I prayed whether I should cook for him or clean my kitchen. I felt I should clean my kitchen so I did.

Jodie messaged me about meeting some other girls in the ward at Juniper restaurant for dinner and to just hang out at 6:30 because I was teasing them about not inviting me-BUT we have 2 relief society visits set up. I agreed to do the 7:30 appointment with Kristen Sylvester and Friday at the same time with Kayleen Rich. I feel like I can do these. Michelle Hinks is at 6:30 but I really don't want to drive straight over there after my 10-hour work day. I want to at least eat something first, breathe a moment.

Why is this taking SO DAMN LONG!!! I am TRYING to be patient BUT it is RIDICULOUS!!! I received the email yesterday. I have access to the system so I can tell when they add my grade and process my degree. I'm sure they have other students to attend to as well BUT FREAK!!! Is there something else???!!! Technically they could hold this up until April 18th BUT I am NOT going to handle that well at all. I'm going to do my best to do NOTHING this week AND not email or call until next Monday. I am hoping they will surprise me and complete my paperwork this week and that I'll be able to see this Monday. What I really want to do is call someone up now and yell at them to hurry the hell up!!! BUUUT I know that isn't effective. I HAAATE waiting!!!

As in one of the few musicals I really want to see and still haven't!!! Today I went to see my orthodontist. If I didn't have the bonding that is now gone I'd be done BUT because I DID I'm pretty sure I have to wear a new set of trays which is fine with me. I think I'm used to them now. I asked him about that and he said I probably would. The whole process is pretty painless and worry-free. I'm not as obsessive about brushing my teeth as I was when I first started this and I've adjusted well. Wearing new aligners is not going to be a problem.

First I thought I'd go to my dentist in between this but actually I think I'll just finish with the orthodontist now that I think about it. I just want to get my porcelain crown but I can wait another 3 months. I wish the trays didn't take so long to get here.

My alarm went off this morning and I just slept with it longer. I don't know why I was sooo tired. I finally got up again at 6:30 so NOOO Zumba. I had my morning orthodontist appointment so I couldn't really run late this morning. I want to skate but I also need to hang on to my money since I don't get paid again until the 5th. I need to set aside skating money first and BUDGET that. When I went to Macey's Monday I bought some sushi since they had this obnoxious sign "sushi made daily" I had to at least try it. It was good. Once again I make better sushi BUT talk is cheap and I need to force myself to cook then I will just save a ton of money AND it'll taste better. I could go skating 3x with what I spent on sushi. Then there's gas too. Yes I'm being very cheap BUT I could save gas money too!!! I need to drive to Richmond today. Everything is relative. I used to go to lunch when I lived in Salt Lake further than Richmond sometimes just to get what I wanted.

Helaman 6
25 Now behold, it is these secret oaths and covenants which Alma commanded his son should not go forth unto the world, lest they should be a means of bringing down the people unto destruction.

The power of oaths and covenants is emphasized again here. If evil covenants can bring an entire people to destruction what can correct covenants bring???!!!

Ask the Missionaries! They Can Help You - Russell M. Nelson
The decision to serve a mission will shape the spiritual destiny of the missionary, his or her spouse, and their posterity for generations to come. A desire to serve is a natural outcome of one’s conversion, worthiness, and preparation.

Maybe Heavenly Father wants David in Layton this summer BUT I was thinking his moving to Layton to work in Salt Lake is like moving to Odgen from Salt Lake to attend USU. Yes I think that's a good comparison.

This girl Kate Bradshaw sang His Hands. I told everyone in our presidency meeting that she better sing this song well because I love it. She sang it alright although not technically well. She had the spirit however which made it beautiful. I felt like Heavenly Father did that on purpose to show me that if someone tries to praise him they don't need to sing perfectly AND it'll still be alright. She taught me what I already know that the spirit is what is really important NOT how well someone sings. It was a little awkward because I was sitting by her and I wasn't going to tell her she sang well. I should have told her it was beautiful because the spirit was with her when she sang because THAT is the truth. I must remedy that when I get the chance to do that.

I'm used to hearing super talented people do musical things really well. The only person who really impressed me was Stacey. She played a really difficult piece and it was amazing. Jenny UHarriet is awesome. She wanted to go to law school originally like me. She finished her MPA and worked at the Governor's office in Arizona. I would looove that!!! We'd probably hang out if she wasn't dating anyone. She's from Provo and California. I lived in Provo as a little girl and then later when I was a student at BYU. We related out BYU stories. She's fun to talk to too. I'm glad she's in choir and I'm glad she's in our ward.

I told Krista her man came to the Passover after she left. I smiled at him when I saw him. I hope he doesn't get the wrong idea. That's Krista friend work NOT Puanani work!!! I stayed late at work trying to finish barcoding those books I wanted to just FINISH. I was working on these ALL DAY. I have a huge spray bottle of goo gone to get rid of stickers and dirt on books. Used books NEED to be scrutinized pretty carefully. I found a lot of books by authors popular at our school. James Patterson, Steven King and John Grisham are our most popular. Unfortunately there's also a group that likes Nicholas Sparks and Anita Stansfield.

I couldn't finish because students kept needing things. I'm going to finish that first thing tomorrow. I want to complete power point presentations to get the kids through writing an APA paper from start to finish. I want to make sure they are constantly doing different things so they don't get bored or distracted so I want to PREPARE well and I haven't been able to do that since I've been working on these books to try to get them out in our collection and ready to check out.

I missed my $2 Tuesday skating because I stayed too long at work and then I had to go to the musical fireside. I forgot we have a CVLA meeting tomorrow. I need to get someone to work for me asap!!!

So I'm FINALLY enrolled as of yesterday. I was told that I would get a grade as soon as that happened. BUUUT I receive another email saying I need to login to capstone and THEN I can get a grade... DID THAT!!! ALRIGHT... NOW WHAT???!!!

FEELING LIKE SCREAMING!!! HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY JOY HAPPY HAPPY JOY!!!

GRRR!!! I need a break!!! 40 minutes until my rather late lunch hour. I love being a librarian BUT I don't love the busy work stuff that people in acquisitions would handle at a large library. I like programming and working directly with patrons, helping them find the resources they need. That is what a librarian is supposed to do. I could probably give it to my assistant BUT she works sooo slooow and I'd rather not wait!!!

Sunday Heidi LeBaron played one of my favorite Bach songs. She played the organ while her brother played the piano.  It was sooo good. I had to ask her for the title. I used to have a Bach cassette along with other classical artists since I couldn't listen to anything else on my mission other than church music. Bach is definitely my favorite. Heidi played Jesu, Joy of Man's Desiring. To prepare for my mission mode I'd visit my friend who worked at the Aloha Center at BYU-Hawaii-like the Wilkinson Center at BYU and the Taggart Center at USU-I got him to play my classical music so I'd get used to it and figure out what I liked. It was fun to see how students reacted to it. My friend David worked at the Aloha Center front desk. Now he's a professor there. He got his PhD in Anthropology but he teaches computer science. He took George's position.

My brother is a great teacher. He was perfect at BYU-Hawaii BUT I'm glad he's here for selfish personal reasons. He loves Hawaii and he loved teaching at BYU-Hawaii. He only moved because he had a spiritual prompting that he needed to move here. Whenever he went to BYU-Hawaii's graduation either in December or June people would think he was graduating. People had a hard time believing he was an Assistant Professor. He enjoys teaching which is good. It doesn't pay enough however.

My friend Emily was in charge of buying us snacks to watch our Webinar. She got these Sunbelt granola bars. When I was a mentor for the Asian Association I oded on Quaker granola bars. I don't like them at all. They taste very processed. The Sunbelt granola bars however are delicious. Everyone seems to know about them already. I don't know how I am so late to the party. The coconut chocolate is amazing!!! They taste like Samoa girl scout cookies. My new addiction. It feels like they're healthy but I'm sure they're NOT, AND good quality. They are the cheapest too. I finally found them at Walmart. They have their own shelf.

Spotify keeps playing explicit stuff so I found a hip hop radio station in Hawaii and I just listen to nice edited versions!!!

I love skating on Tuesday because it costs just 2.14!!! Last night after invading David's FHE which was the Passover Ryan conducted very nicely, I went to my supposedly "light" volleyball game they were playing with big baloons and a beach ball. They were NOT having a nice easy game. They were slamming. Susie brought all these sliced oranges. I eat a lot of oranges and avocados now. I was happy to see this although no one was taking any. She found me some sandwich bags. I filled 2 and took them with me. I wish I had a nice big ziplock bag BUT it was better than nothing and I just ate of bunch of them this morning. I decided to go skating since I stayed longer at work to try to finish some things and I hadn't gone yet and the volleyball game didn't look too friendly OR light!!!

The Fun Park closes at 9pm so I didn't have time to sit on the side with the chairs, carpet and wall. I lost my balance each time I skated through that side BUT I didn't fall and it is MORE than time for me to do that. As long as I go around the rink 3x I'm good. I may not be there very long but it is enough for me to improve at least a little. It was busy last night probably because of fhe. There were several families there.  Tonight will probably be crowded because of the $2 thing. I love that I'm getting better and I can't wait to skate the Riverwalk. I should start walking it now from my apartment so I can look at the trail to see how condusive it is to skating. I did Zumba this morning so I feel great!!!

I'm going to try to skate right after work QUICKLY so I can make it to our combined RS Easter musical fireside. Sister Kitchens is speaking to us. It's going to be nice to hear from her because I feel like we never get that chance.

I have a lot of used books I got from DI and Jensen's books. I need to keep building our collection even if we don't have our shelves which Mindie's dad hopefully builds. I am still waiting for an estimate from him. I think I'm going to call him today to follow up. Sharla my director told me Allan has a master's degree but it isn't in Library Science which is why they couldn't keep him. My friend Clay who is the Director of Admissions told me when I first started that Allan just used to sit around and watch television and that it was nice to have some who actually worked. That was nice of Clay but you can't really judge what other people are doing. I'm sure Clay couldn't observe him EVERY second and it's not like Clay was his supervisor.

Helaman 5
2 For as their laws and their governments were established by the voice of the people, and they who chose evil were more numerous than they who chose good, therefore they were ripening for destruction, for the laws had become corrupted.
4 And it came to pass that Nephi had become weary because of their iniquity; and he yielded up the judgment-seat, and took it upon him to preach the word of God all the remainder of his days, and his brother Lehi also, all the remainder of his days;

8 And now my sons, behold I have somewhat more to desire of you, which desire is, that ye may not do these things that ye may boast, but that ye may do these things to lay up for yourselves a treasure in heaven, yea, which is eternal, and which fadeth not away; yea, that ye may have that precious gift of eternal life, which we have reason to suppose hath been given to our fathers.

9 O remember, remember, my sons, the words which king Benjamin spake unto his people; yea, remember that there is no other way nor means whereby man can be saved, only through the atoning blood of Jesus Christ, who shall come; yea, remember that he cometh to redeem the world.
18 And it came to pass that Nephi and Lehi did preach unto the Lamanites with such great power and authority, for they had power and authority given unto them that they might speak, and they also had what they should speak given unto them—

19 Therefore they did speak unto the great astonishment of the Lamanites, to the convincing them, insomuch that there were eight thousand of the Lamanites who were in the land of Zarahemla and round about baptized unto repentance, and were convinced of the wickedness of the traditions of their fathers.
30 And it came to pass when they heard this voice, and beheld that it was not a voice of thunder, neither was it a voice of a great tumultuous noise, but behold, it was a still voice of perfect mildness, as if it had been a whisper, and it did pierce even to the very soul—
42 And it came to pass that they all did begin to cry unto the voice of him who had shaken the earth; yea, they did cry even until the cloud of darkness was dispersed.

43 And it came to pass that when they cast their eyes about, and saw that the cloud of darkness was dispersed from overshadowing them, behold, they saw that they were encircled about, yea every soul, by a pillar of fire.
44 And Nephi and Lehi were in the midst of them; yea, they were encircled about; yea, they were as if in the midst of a flaming fire, yet it did harm them not, neither did it take hold upon the walls of the prison; and they were filled with that joy which is unspeakable and full of glory.
45 And behold, the Holy Spirit of God did come down from heaven, and did enter into their hearts, and they were filled as if with fire, and they could speak forth marvelous words.
46 And it came to pass that there came a voice unto them, yea, a pleasant voice, as if it were a whisper, saying:
47 Peace, peace be unto you, because of your faith in my Well Beloved, who was from the foundation of the world.
48 And now, when they heard this they cast up their eyes as if to behold from whence the voice came; and behold, they saw the heavens open; and angels came down out of heaven and ministered unto them.
49 And there were about three hundred souls who saw and heard these things; and they were bidden to go forth and marvel not, neither should they doubt.
50 And it came to pass that they did go forth, and did minister unto the people, declaring throughout all the regions round about all the things which they had heard and seen, insomuch that the more part of the Lamanites were convinced of them, because of the greatness of the evidences which they had received.
51 And as many as were convinced did lay down their weapons of war, and also their hatred and the tradition of their fathers.
When I read this chapter this morning I thought how cool it would've been to have been Nephi and Lehi then. Their mission was extremely successful. They reactivated inactive members and even baptized 8,000 Lamanites. I would've been happy with Alma's 450 at the waters of Mormon. They are imprisoned BUT not touched and then a voice from the heavens testifies to the people. In addition to this angels come down and minister to the people. So touched by these miraculous events the Lamanites "lay down their weapons of war, hatred and traditions of their fathers." These events occur with about 300 people to witness. How amazing that must've been. And to think at the beginning the people are described as "ripening for destruction." I always talked about and read about what great missionaries Alma the younger, Ammon and the Sons of Mosiah were. I rarely read or reflect on Nephi and Lehi BUT 8,000 just from the Lamanites???!!! RECOGNIZE!!! How have I not been impressed by Helaman 5 before???!!! How incredible!!! They were so lucky to teach a people worthy to receive such great miracles. In verse 44 it talks about them being filled with that joy that is unspeakable and full of glory. Several times in conferences throughout the years leaders make the statement that only through marriage can the greatest joy be reached. So marriage brings joy GREATER than this that is unspeakable and full of glory???!!! AWESOME!!!

Welcome to Conference - President Thomas S. Monson
As we have prayerfully pondered the age at which young men may begin their missionary service, we have also given consideration to the age at which a young woman might serve. Today I am pleased to announce that able, worthy young women who have the desire to serve may be recommended for missionary service beginning at age 19, instead of age 21.


This was such a major development. I wish so much that my nieces would go on missions. Lei's twins are so excited to serve their missions. I love my nieces so much. I don't know how to help them realize how amazing their lives will be if they do this. My mission was such a blessing in my life. I would've loved to have gone when I was 19. Instead I had to wait until I was 21. Signing up for a mission is like signing up for blessings AND missionary work is the most fun you will ever have. There is nothing I love more. It was also the hardest thing I had ever done up to that point in my life BUT the blessings far outweigh the challenges.

I don't know how to reach people I hardly see. I don't specifically pray about my nieces. I'm going to make that a goal. I love reading about how my friends' twins are preparing for their missions and were just blessed with the money to do this. I can't help but wish my nieces had that desire too. I blame my brother BUT I want to help. I just don't know how. I do know how to find out however and it is more than time for me to do that. My nieces mean more to me than anyone else I might try to share the gospel with. I'm going to do this. Time for targeted prayers for my nieces too.

I went to the cultural hall and they were STILL setting up a "net" they created. I got there late BUUUT they were taking FOREVER!!! Instead I joined David & Ryan's group I saw setting up some sort of dinner. They didn't have anyone there so I stayed. David looked very nice as did the pretty girl he was sitting by.

I can't believe Ryan worked for 4 years with Victor Ludlow. That is sooo awesome. I can only imagine what he learned from him. Ryan and I have a lot in common. I love the way he loves the scriptures. He also worked on Jon Huntsman's campaign for Governor. I worked on Orrin Hatch's campaign for president and I also attended the Republican convention that year as one of the perks. We were served an o.k. dinner where the tickets were sold for A LOT of money that was raised for the Republican party. I was ushering for Salt Lake County then and I made sure to work all the political events. They had some event at the Rose Wagner Theater where Jon Huntsman spoke. He is an amazing speaker. He is David B. Haight's grandson. I think he's married to Neal A. Maxwell's daughter.

Huntsman dropped out of high school for a year to play in a band. Despite this he still went on to do well in college AND serve a mission to Taiwan. Rich white boy from a family with a lot of history in the church raised in Utah. Of course he turns out alright. I'm sure some pretty powerful prayers were offered in his behalf. He grows up to become Utah's governor and later the Ambassador to Taiwan. Thank You president Obama. Nepotism yes most likely although it was interesting for me to note how connected the leadership in Utah is and how much influence the church has although it may not be direct. Everyone knows everyone else in this little elite circle. I guess that's to be expected. If you work with someone in the church or anywhere it follows that your families will get to know each other too.

Prominent Utah families are prominent in the church, business AND politics.

I think David's working at the International Center since he said he's working near the airport. I don't think he gets how long his commute is going to be although maybe his commute from here to ATK is similar BUT I think Layton to the International Center is still longer. KJazz and Fox13 are there. When I first moved to Utah I worked as a collector first for 3 months there. I became a collections trainer pretty quickly and while I enjoyed the new position I made more through collections bonuses than I did on salary. That ticked me off. I did an internship at KJazz for a few months there too when I was actually working on my broadcast journalism degree at the U.

I can transfer up to 4 broadcast journalism classes to the U. I should probably finish those at USU then I'd have maybe 2 to complete at the U for that degree. I WOULD like to finish that one day although I think creating my own blog with video stories I shoot and edit myself sounds more fun. Journalism is something I just love. I know my interests lie all over the place but there's nothing wrong with that.

Since I set my own schedule I should probably take advantage of that by taking classes at USU. I never wanted to go to school there however. I do want to FINALLY finish that degree. I'd like to make money too now. I can ONLY take 4 classes so I should just take 1 a semester. Somewhere along the way I hope to get a job at Stevens-Henager College in Salt Lake City then I can FINISH this stupid degree I keep stopping to go to graduate school. Not that I regret getting my MBA at all. I will bring a lot to my next position I interview for.

I worked for Eastman Sports at the International Center when I was a librarian substitute. It was customer service on the phone starting at 6am with weekends off. My checks were very nice then especially since I didn't have to pay any bills except for my direct tv, phone bill and insurance. I ate lunch somewhere different every day. I didn't have any benefits then. My brother liked to tell me how homeless people didn't have insurance. He helped me get this job. I was sooo sick of applying and smiling and interviewing. It felt like I would NEVER get a full time librarian job.

If I hadn't just lost a county job to someone from out-of-state I don't think I would've even considered moving to Logan. I wouldn't have minded moving to Park City or California BUT I remember thinking I didn't want a job in Layton because the thought of living there was awful. I still remember my niece telling me she could NEVER live here. Uh huh, me too!!!

But, I have learned things I never would've had to learn if I didn't move. I have my mother in Salt Lake-actually 5 minutes from the International Center. YES, I would test that in the mornings, jump on I-80 then take the second exit. It's a good thing I traveled so early in the morning I would've had some tickets if I was followed by a highway patrol man. I think frontrunner goes to Layton. Maybe David can do that and sleep on the way. That commute is exhausting, especially if he does it during rush hour.

The airport Trax should be up and running directly to the airport. Lots of buses could take him to the International Center and he wouldn't have to wait more than 10 to 15 minutes. Lots of buses go to the airport and if the bus travels there it definitely stops at the international center. It would be worth it to me to sleep on the train BUT he might be like George who is going to drive because he's more comfortable that way EVEN if lots of other people take advantage of trax and express buses AND save energy AND money. Trax is pretty fast too. It may even save time. I am so happy my mother's house has a Trax stop right near it.

My fhe group is playing beach "volleyball" in the cultural hall. In Tonga everyone is REALLY good at volleyball or maybe it's just compared to me. I remember being in JR high school and being really scared to walk through the gym because that's where the ball could slam into you. They were really into slamming the ball too.

That never changed when I returned to Hawaii. It was worse when they formed a Tongan ward and we began attending. Our young women were sooo good. My volleyball serve was crappy and I was happy if it just went over the net. Forget about setting or slamming.

My Tongan Young Adult ward was the same. Everyone is REALLY good and I suck so I just never played. Perhaps if I started playing when I was younger I would've enjoyed it. I played sometimes with the neighborhood people and I remember getting bruises just from bumping the ball. NO THANK-YOU!!! I'll stick to dancing!!!

I'm going to go to FHE. I'm caught between wanting to support my FHE mom Susie who is very cool and NOT wanting to see that guy who is in my group and on my last nerve right now. I know I'm supposed to go and I'm in this group for whatever reason so I should lose the attitude. I'll just put some flat shoes on first.

Not really I just like alliteration!!! Why do people think they can and should talk the ears off librarians???!!! I try to be nice but then people get to be like the energizer bunny with me and I can't go anywhere!!! Instead I get to nod and smile sweetly when I don't feel like it. It's a good thing I used to dance at PCC. I know how to paste on a smile and make it seem genuine.

Yesterday looking at all of those kids performing I kept thinking how VERY young they looked. Polynesian kids look older in general. I know that. My friend definitely looks older than the kids in the choir yesterday. I REALLY like that. He has bushy eyebrows I REALLY like that too. It balances the pretty and it prevents him from looking metrosexual. I'm glad he's not too thin either. My friend Colton danced the metrosexual line because he was extremely skinny, tall and his mother who does nails buys all his clothes for him AND she has good taste. People used to ask me if he was gay. He haaated that. His uncle in California looks a lot like him and is gay. Colton went to a bar with him and got hit on by some guys. I love these Korean men in my dramas BUT some of them are too pretty. All Asian men AND women in the dramas I watch have flawless skin AND the guys could pass for girls with a little make-up. My friend is pretty enough to pass for a girl BUT I really looked at his eyes yesterday and he would need some serious plucking before he could pull it off effectively!!! Thank you white genes!!!

My Hawaiian/Chinese grandmother never had to shave her legs. My grandmother had Asian eyes but was dark. My mother had to shave her legs because of her white father. Of course I get jet-black unruly Tongan hair that contrasts starkly with my ivory skin. This lady who used to do my nails told me my hair color was too dark for my skin tone. I wanted to kick her BUT you try to be nice to people who regularly handle your fingers with chemicals and sharp objects. This other stupid girl didn't believe me when I told her I don't color my hair. At least my skin is olive instead of the pasty white I'd have if I wasn't Polynesian. I'm glad I don't have to go to a tanning salon.

My friend was talking about some girl he dated that had really short eyelashes. I told him she could've got eyelash extensions if she wanted. He said she wasn't vain. Sooo does that mean anyone who gets eyelash extensions is vain???!!! If I wasn't paying for other things now I would get them. Does that make me vain???!!! I don't think so. He needs to lose that opinion.

Helaman 4
12 And it was because of the pride of their hearts, because of their exceeding riches, yea, it was because of their oppression to the poor, withholding their food from the hungry, withholding their clothing from the naked, and smiting their humble brethren upon the cheek, making a mock of that which was sacred, denying the spirit of prophecy and of revelation, murdering, plundering, lying, stealing, committing adultery, rising up in great contentions, and deserting away into the land of Nephi, among the Lamanites—

13 And because of this their great wickedness, and their boastings in their own strength, they were left in their own strength; therefore they did not prosper, but were afflicted and smitten, and driven before the Lamanites, until they had lost possession of almost all their lands.

Pride really is the root of all sin. It is pride that makes me NOT want to do what I've been told over and over and over again that I need to do. It's why this is so difficult for me. I'm not a shy person. I don't have a problem talking with people. I'm so over anything that happened BUT part of me wants to hold back because I DON'T keep ANYONE in my life who treats me like that. If I wasn't specifically told to cultivate this there is no way in hell I'd be doing a damn thing. While he hasn't done anything abhorrent recently, I know he's going to be an ass again. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. We are supposed to be aware of our partner's weaknesses, BUT we are supposed to be willing to deal with it. I'm not willing but I feel like I should be. Nothing but prayer will help me do this with my sanity intact.

It's like that freaky last session I had all over again. Knowing everything I do I'm STILL supposed to choose this. I know it's going to be worth it. I just REALLY can't see that now. MORE walking straight into darkness for me!!! I completely get why he's not married. Maybe I'm the other extreme. Do I demand perfection when I'm so far from perfect myself? Probably. I usually find something wrong with someone pretty quickly then they're much easier to eliminate. I did that with this when I deliberately went against the spirit. NEVER doing that again!!!

I did miss him when he was gone during Christmas Break and then later during Spring Break. Those were just weeks. This is going to be months. How can I miss someone I'm not even dating???!!! I need to resolve this before summer starts or this is going to be a looong summer.

Brethren, We Have Work to Do - D. Todd Christopherson-Quorum of the 12
And so to all who are listening, wherever this message may reach you, I say as Jehovah said to Joshua, “Be strong and of a good courage” (Joshua 1:6). Take heart and prepare the best you can, whatever your circumstances. Prepare to be a good husband and father; prepare to be a good and productive citizen; prepare to serve the Lord, whose priesthood you hold. Wherever you are, your Heavenly Father is mindful of you. You are not alone, and you have the priesthood and the gift of the Holy Ghost.


Of course, as has been repeated by prophets over the years, “The most important of the Lord’s work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes.”We have much to do to strengthen marriage in societies that increasingly trivialize its importance and purpose. We have much to do to teach our children “to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord”
My friend really is great. His qualities are awesome and it's so easy for me to forget that. He is the best intellectually and spiritually.

They were sooo good AND filled with the spirit. They did such a great job. Of course they did. Bro. Salmond is incredible of course whatever he is affiliated with will soar!!!

I wanted to talk to my friend but I kept going the other direction when he was going somewhere else. I saw my Tongan sister Elenoa. I was talking with her UNTIL she stopped to tell Jared he gave a good talk NOOO I'm NOT talking to Jared!!! Sooo I left and I thought I was good UNTIL she caught up with me and asked me if I was going home. I said yes because I didn't want to really chat with her forever AND I didn't see my friend ANYWHERE-Then I see him when we're leaving!!! I had to sacrifice my time I could've spent with him. I spent linger longer appeasing my friend by talking to the guy she likes. Instead I could've been working to repair my dilapidated relationship with my friend that still needs A LOT of work. I made some progress in Sunday School but I know there's still a lot to do.

She wanted to know what I was doing for Easter. NOOO I don't want to do something with her. I can't afford to go home or to my brother's house in Provo. We have a ward potluck. I wonder who will actually show up. I wonder what my friend's doing. Ele said we should get together and do dinner. That would be nice and I love her. It's like my uncle, I love it BUT I do have other things I'm trying to accomplish right now I need to find that appropriate balance.

My uncle is a returned missionary but he was excommunicated. I never knew that. He shared that all with me the last time he visited. He has 8 children with his current wife. She went through the temple about a year ago. Laie told me he was excommunicated because he had an affair with another one of our relatives' wife. They are divorced now. This happened over 18 years ago and he told me he had to write a letter to the first presidency to see if they would allow him to regain his membership. I hope everything goes well. He loves his family so much. He wrote the letter about 2 weeks ago now.

I am trying to do what my father in heaven wants me to do. I don't know what has to happen. I feel exhausted and fragile. I don't want to dwell in the past BUT I was there. I know heavenly father wouldn't lead me anywhere wrong. Why did he let that happen? Why is it so hard then? Why do I feel so exposed. Why is it so hard for me to have faith in this. Why can't I trust what I've been shown.

I love Sundays when the spirit is strong throughout my meetings and it was today. My friend Krista came back from Japan. She graduates on May 3rd and she plans to go back to Taiwan unless she finds a boyfriend quickly. She has a thing for this guy in our ward who we spoke to during Linger Longer. That guy from my fhe group was not there Hallelujah!!! sooo I didn't have to monopolize David. Nice!!! I hope he gets that I'm NOT interested in him BUT I don't want him to feel bad although someone's always going to feel bad.

I missed eavesdropping on this whole conversation about this girl David was dating because I was trying to get to know Jenny UHarriet better. She is very sweet, talented AND I can tell she has a testimony too. I asked her if she was getting married. She seems very close to her boyfriend who isn't old enough to be in our ward. She told me she met her boyfriend when she went country dancing. I told her I'd have to like the music to do that. She said she has a friend who met his wife there and he doesn't like the music either. I told her that sounded like torture to me and that I did go dancing a lot at one time although it WAS NOT country dancing.

I met this girl Kim who lives in Mendon. She attends a ward in Salt Lake City for mid-singles that they let her transfer her records to attend. I saw my visiting teaching partner Erin right before relief society. I was in the middle of talking to Kim or I would've talked to her more. I thought I'd see her in Relief Society but then she disappeared. The irony with Kim is she can't have her records transferred to Logan even if she lives in Mendon. ACTUALLY why can't she just move to Logan??? I should've asked her that. Alex commutes from the Dugway military post out past Toole. They had a librarian opening there once that started at $85,000.

David does have an internship this summer in Salt Lake City. He's working for O3. I think that's the name of the company. He is moving to live with Tom from the ward who just bought a house in Layton. I wonder if he knows just how far Layton is from Salt Lake. Anywhere in Salt Lake will take him at least a 45 minute commute. ULA had their conference in Layton 2 years ago. I HAAATED driving there and back EVERY day for the conference but my Regional Director said she'd pay my miles for me to drive rather than pay for a hotel. I put over a 100 miles on my car to drive there and back.

Last year I stayed with my mother and this year it's in Provo so I'll stay with my brother.

My joints are stiff probably from falling asleep on my loveseat as my Korean Drama played for my sleeping self. I woke up at 2am when I turned it off, took out my contacts, brushed my teeth and then finally slept. I need to hit up the grocery store. I'd like to organize my coupons first today so that my shopping is intentional and saves me money.

Church is going to be nice and easy today especially compared to last week when I had to teach  visiting teaching and relief society lessons. Focusing on bringing the spirit is difficult because you can't control that. What you can do is be consistent in everything AND prepare sufficiently then pray for the spirit so that it teaches and reaches your class after you have done everything you can.

Helaman 3