Urban Poly Princess

They were sooo good AND filled with the spirit. They did such a great job. Of course they did. Bro. Salmond is incredible of course whatever he is affiliated with will soar!!!

I wanted to talk to my friend but I kept going the other direction when he was going somewhere else. I saw my Tongan sister Elenoa. I was talking with her UNTIL she stopped to tell Jared he gave a good talk NOOO I'm NOT talking to Jared!!! Sooo I left and I thought I was good UNTIL she caught up with me and asked me if I was going home. I said yes because I didn't want to really chat with her forever AND I didn't see my friend ANYWHERE-Then I see him when we're leaving!!! I had to sacrifice my time I could've spent with him. I spent linger longer appeasing my friend by talking to the guy she likes. Instead I could've been working to repair my dilapidated relationship with my friend that still needs A LOT of work. I made some progress in Sunday School but I know there's still a lot to do.

She wanted to know what I was doing for Easter. NOOO I don't want to do something with her. I can't afford to go home or to my brother's house in Provo. We have a ward potluck. I wonder who will actually show up. I wonder what my friend's doing. Ele said we should get together and do dinner. That would be nice and I love her. It's like my uncle, I love it BUT I do have other things I'm trying to accomplish right now I need to find that appropriate balance.

My uncle is a returned missionary but he was excommunicated. I never knew that. He shared that all with me the last time he visited. He has 8 children with his current wife. She went through the temple about a year ago. Laie told me he was excommunicated because he had an affair with another one of our relatives' wife. They are divorced now. This happened over 18 years ago and he told me he had to write a letter to the first presidency to see if they would allow him to regain his membership. I hope everything goes well. He loves his family so much. He wrote the letter about 2 weeks ago now.

I am trying to do what my father in heaven wants me to do. I don't know what has to happen. I feel exhausted and fragile. I don't want to dwell in the past BUT I was there. I know heavenly father wouldn't lead me anywhere wrong. Why did he let that happen? Why is it so hard then? Why do I feel so exposed. Why is it so hard for me to have faith in this. Why can't I trust what I've been shown.