Urban Poly Princess

Not really I just like alliteration!!! Why do people think they can and should talk the ears off librarians???!!! I try to be nice but then people get to be like the energizer bunny with me and I can't go anywhere!!! Instead I get to nod and smile sweetly when I don't feel like it. It's a good thing I used to dance at PCC. I know how to paste on a smile and make it seem genuine.

Yesterday looking at all of those kids performing I kept thinking how VERY young they looked. Polynesian kids look older in general. I know that. My friend definitely looks older than the kids in the choir yesterday. I REALLY like that. He has bushy eyebrows I REALLY like that too. It balances the pretty and it prevents him from looking metrosexual. I'm glad he's not too thin either. My friend Colton danced the metrosexual line because he was extremely skinny, tall and his mother who does nails buys all his clothes for him AND she has good taste. People used to ask me if he was gay. He haaated that. His uncle in California looks a lot like him and is gay. Colton went to a bar with him and got hit on by some guys. I love these Korean men in my dramas BUT some of them are too pretty. All Asian men AND women in the dramas I watch have flawless skin AND the guys could pass for girls with a little make-up. My friend is pretty enough to pass for a girl BUT I really looked at his eyes yesterday and he would need some serious plucking before he could pull it off effectively!!! Thank you white genes!!!

My Hawaiian/Chinese grandmother never had to shave her legs. My grandmother had Asian eyes but was dark. My mother had to shave her legs because of her white father. Of course I get jet-black unruly Tongan hair that contrasts starkly with my ivory skin. This lady who used to do my nails told me my hair color was too dark for my skin tone. I wanted to kick her BUT you try to be nice to people who regularly handle your fingers with chemicals and sharp objects. This other stupid girl didn't believe me when I told her I don't color my hair. At least my skin is olive instead of the pasty white I'd have if I wasn't Polynesian. I'm glad I don't have to go to a tanning salon.

My friend was talking about some girl he dated that had really short eyelashes. I told him she could've got eyelash extensions if she wanted. He said she wasn't vain. Sooo does that mean anyone who gets eyelash extensions is vain???!!! If I wasn't paying for other things now I would get them. Does that make me vain???!!! I don't think so. He needs to lose that opinion.

Helaman 4
12 And it was because of the pride of their hearts, because of their exceeding riches, yea, it was because of their oppression to the poor, withholding their food from the hungry, withholding their clothing from the naked, and smiting their humble brethren upon the cheek, making a mock of that which was sacred, denying the spirit of prophecy and of revelation, murdering, plundering, lying, stealing, committing adultery, rising up in great contentions, and deserting away into the land of Nephi, among the Lamanites—

13 And because of this their great wickedness, and their boastings in their own strength, they were left in their own strength; therefore they did not prosper, but were afflicted and smitten, and driven before the Lamanites, until they had lost possession of almost all their lands.

Pride really is the root of all sin. It is pride that makes me NOT want to do what I've been told over and over and over again that I need to do. It's why this is so difficult for me. I'm not a shy person. I don't have a problem talking with people. I'm so over anything that happened BUT part of me wants to hold back because I DON'T keep ANYONE in my life who treats me like that. If I wasn't specifically told to cultivate this there is no way in hell I'd be doing a damn thing. While he hasn't done anything abhorrent recently, I know he's going to be an ass again. The best predictor of future behavior is past behavior. We are supposed to be aware of our partner's weaknesses, BUT we are supposed to be willing to deal with it. I'm not willing but I feel like I should be. Nothing but prayer will help me do this with my sanity intact.

It's like that freaky last session I had all over again. Knowing everything I do I'm STILL supposed to choose this. I know it's going to be worth it. I just REALLY can't see that now. MORE walking straight into darkness for me!!! I completely get why he's not married. Maybe I'm the other extreme. Do I demand perfection when I'm so far from perfect myself? Probably. I usually find something wrong with someone pretty quickly then they're much easier to eliminate. I did that with this when I deliberately went against the spirit. NEVER doing that again!!!

I did miss him when he was gone during Christmas Break and then later during Spring Break. Those were just weeks. This is going to be months. How can I miss someone I'm not even dating???!!! I need to resolve this before summer starts or this is going to be a looong summer.

Brethren, We Have Work to Do - D. Todd Christopherson-Quorum of the 12
And so to all who are listening, wherever this message may reach you, I say as Jehovah said to Joshua, “Be strong and of a good courage” (Joshua 1:6). Take heart and prepare the best you can, whatever your circumstances. Prepare to be a good husband and father; prepare to be a good and productive citizen; prepare to serve the Lord, whose priesthood you hold. Wherever you are, your Heavenly Father is mindful of you. You are not alone, and you have the priesthood and the gift of the Holy Ghost.


Of course, as has been repeated by prophets over the years, “The most important of the Lord’s work you will ever do will be within the walls of your own homes.”We have much to do to strengthen marriage in societies that increasingly trivialize its importance and purpose. We have much to do to teach our children “to pray, and to walk uprightly before the Lord”
My friend really is great. His qualities are awesome and it's so easy for me to forget that. He is the best intellectually and spiritually.