Urban Poly Princess

Sooo I choked last night AND I need to admit that AND move on. I did NOT do what I could've. AND there's no good reason for that. There were some women I felt like stepping on BUT that wasn't his fault AND instead I did NOTHING!!! I was trying to just pretend that away BUT I'll just continue to feel crappy. So I need to get that out of my system. Boy I miss feeling amazing because I'm doing EVERYTHING I'm supposed to do. That was nice while it lasted.

I DID have ample opportunity last night to just BE NORMAL AND I DIDN'T TAKE THAT. INSTEAD I WAS A STUPID SCARED MOUSE. I'm not sure what I'm scared of. I feel better now. I need to get past this because it's holding me back. I know how important this is too-that's what really freaks me out. This is a little overwhelming and I'm the one tripping now. Nothing happened so why the hell am I tripping???!!!

I said hello BUT that was AFTER he did. I'm going to say hi first next time.

REALLY???!!! This is why all the yuckiness this morning???!!! At least I haven't had problems sleeping anymore.

Mosiah 14

Abinadi quotes Isaiah. Everyone complains about Isaiah but I think he is one of the most beautiful writers in the scriptures. He always sounds like he's reciting poetry. His testimony of the Savior is so descriptive and heart-felt. He uses images and details that bring his testimony to life.

2 For he shall grow up before him as a tender plant, and as a root out of dry ground; he hath no form nor comeliness; and when we shall see him there is no beauty that we should desire him.

3 He is despised and rejected of men; a man of sorrows, and acquainted with grief; and we hid as it were our faces from him; he was despised, and we esteemed him not.

4 Surely he has borne our griefs, and carried our sorrows; yet we did esteem him stricken, smitten of God, and afflicted.

5 But he was wounded for our transgressions, he was bruised for our iniquities; the chastisement of our peace was upon him; and with his stripes we are healed.

6 All we, like sheep, have gone astray; we have turned every one to his own way; and the Lord hath laid on him the iniquities of us all.

7 He was oppressed, and he was afflicted, yet he opened not his mouth; he is brought as a lamb to the slaughter, and as a sheep before her shearers is dumb so he opened not his mouth.

By Faith All Things Are Fulfilled-Elder Marcus B. Nash-Seventy

Faith is both a principle of action and of power. It “is not to have a perfect knowledge of things; therefore if [we] have faith [we] hope for things which are not seen, which are true.” It is an assurance of the Spirit gained through our learning that moves us to act to follow the example of the Savior and prayerfully keep His commandments, even through times of sacrifice and trial. Faith brings us the power of the Lord, which—among other things—is manifested by a hope of good things to come, miracles that confirm our faith, and divine protection in spiritual and temporal matters.

Action and Power-nice BUT we still need to act. I think I need a little more divine assistance here because despite wanting to act last night I choked. I don't know what needs to happen for me to act like a sane person because that hasn't been happening.