Sunday, June 1, 2014

Alma 4-5

Posted by 2DI4 at 12:39 AM

 15 And now it came to pass that Alma, having seen the afflictions of the humble followers of God, and the persecutions which were heaped upon them by the remainder of his people, and seeing all their inequality, began to be very sorrowful; nevertheless the Spirit of the Lord did not fail him.

 I love how the Spirit of the Lord did not fail him. I feel like it's failed me. I now that I'm like a rat in a maze who can't see the whole picture now BUUUT it doesn't eliminate the feeling that I was cheated somehow. Why haven't any of my past relationships ever worked. Why the hell do I have to attend a Midsingles Ward. Why don't I have a family now? I looove working in the temple and the importance of families and the joy children or our posterity brings is emphasized. That's not difficult for me to see. I looove my nieces and nephews so much. I wish they lived around me so I could see them more. 

 Why didn't I meet Rich before he was divorced with 4 children? He is so perfect. He is exactly what I want intellectually. I've done everything I'm supposed to do with my life. Why do I live on a damn farm in the middle of nowhere. One of the temple workers was saying how the Watterson's own ICON and that one of their sons was getting married and had a huge reception last night in Ogden. The presiding Bishop in the church married them today. Of course he did. 

 It made me think Eric and his wife Caroline who I enjoyed meeting at Krista's festivities must be loaded. I did a Google search on him and he was a football star at Mountaincrest before playing for BYU. Of course he was. The rich, friendly good-looking guy marries  someone nice, intelligent AND gorgeous who stays home with their great-looking children. I want what they have BUUUT I'm already too old for that fairytale. 

 Friday Lisa Hancock and I met with one of our sweet sisters at Denny's for dinner. Lisa raved about their scones which were good but I didn't like their accompanying honey-butter. It was too creamy for the scones. I think Chuck-O-Rama has the best scones. THE POINT however was what our sister talked about. She talked about how her Ex-husband could be getting a divorce and she was happy about that because maybe they could date again. The problem with that is that he's getting a divorce because he cheated on his current wife. She was also telling us about some nonmember she dated recently who was a jerk but she enjoyed having someone to date then she started talking about how she was really old.

 I just sat there thinking what an idiot. She loves animals and has a pet-sitting business. No, no, NOOO!!! I had a puppy I loved but for the most part I'm perfectly fine to be away from all animals. My children aren't allowed to have any pets. I don't care about the responsibility it teaches them. There are other ways to learn that.

19 And this he did that he himself might go forth among his people, or among the people of Nephi, that he might preach theword of God unto them, to stir them up in remembrance of their duty, and that he might pull down, by the word of God, all the pride and craftiness and all the contentions which were among his people, seeing no way that he might reclaim them save it were in bearing down in pure testimony against them.
Nephi sacrifices his career to share the gospel. Exactly what I want!!!

20 And thus in the commencement of the ninth year of the reign of the judges over the people of Nephi, Alma delivered up the judgment-seat to Nephihah, and confined himself wholly to thehigh priesthood of the holy order of God, to the testimony of the word, according to the spirit of revelation and prophecy.

 Nephi had the Melchizedek priesthood. We know this through the Pearl of Great Price.

 14 And now behold, I ask of you, my brethren of the church, have ye spiritually been born of God? Have ye received his image in your countenances? Have ye experienced this mighty change in your hearts?

 My brother had a physical change with his mission I envied and wanted. I know how to harness the spirit and use it. I feel that a lot when I perform initiatory ordinances. This is still my favorite part of my service in the temple. I don't think I could ever just be a veil worker like my brother or annoying did. My dad was an ordinance worker each Saturday and my mother was a receptionist during the week. I would get bored. It is already difficult to keep it fresh with what I do now. If I didn't have that variety I think it would drive me crazy.

 One of my APs had the glow too. My first tall beautiful Tongan Dr. friend David had that glow I loved too. It is a clean, powerful physical manifestation of the spirit that accompanies people who are living the gospel and actively trusting and acting on the direction they receive. Although annoying is impressive spiritually I've never seen him with that glow. It shines in their faces and it is the image of Christ in their countenance. Of ALL the men in my ward I think I've seen it in Steven Haderlie but no one else. Ryan was awesome but he didn't have the glow either.

 I've been avoiding gospel essentials until Jon tells me something. I wish bishop would change our mission leader. I haven't seen Justin forever. I hope he found some nice normal members in California. 

 I attended Susie's first temple session at 2pm. She was sooo oozing the glow after in the celestial room. If I wanted to hang with female friends she would definitely be one of them. I was honored to have had that chance to be there.

 There were 52 new endowments today including many weddings, missionaries and people who just wanted to take them out like Susie. Today I missed my niece who is named after me and my nephew who's named after my dad. They had a combined graduation party I should've been at. 

 One of the little boys I used to mentor when I worked for the Asian Association is the Student Body President at USU for the second year in a row. He's been married for about a year after being home from his mission about a year. His parents have a killer house/mansion in South Jordan. They are having a 1st birthday party next Saturday there. ANOTHER event I'm going to miss. It's not like I can just take off from the temple EVERY Saturday and still feel like I'm fulfilling my responsibilities. 

 I am sooo moving to a loft in Salt Lake City. They have SEVERAL choices I was so stoked to discover. I want a gas stove, gorgeous kitchen and amazing bathrooms. Many of the lofts just have 1 bathroom, NOOO! They are all cheap too. I thought it was going to be super-expensive but it isn't. I CAN'T WAIT TO MOVE!!! Right now my favorite so far is the Westgate lofts AND they have at least 9 on sale right now which is going to drive the price down. They are ALL under $250,000.  

 I also want a condo at Turtle Bay Hilton in Hawaii. I want real estate on Hawaii where I grew up. I am working for the life I want. I will continue to pray to recognize someone I could be happy married to for eternity. 


 

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