Urban Poly Princess

Andrew texted me saying it was horrible that I told him I was going to leave fellowshipping Jake up to him. He said Jake is partially handicapped and that as a ward missionary I should fellowship him. First of all Jake was with me when we had FHE and he was my partner when we filmed I want to hold your hand. I didn't notice ANYTHING. I felt like Andrew was going to accuse me next of kicking puppies and taking candy from babies.

He is a judgmental asshole. He criticizes our ward and members in general. He thinks all we're concerned with is having parties. He thinks we should do more genuine service work. He thinks that is how we show how we are Christlike. It's why I texted him when we did service at the nursing home. I knew that was something he'd like. I tried to be clear with him about why I wasn't going to fellowship Jake or really anyone anytime soon. I'm not treating him any differently than I treat any other guy in our ward. Ward missionaries work on people that don't attend, LIKE ANDREW, and nonmembers. I show Curtis attention because I WANT TO SHOW HIM EXTRA ATTENTION. I AM INTERESTED IN GETTING TO KNOW HIM BETTER. I treat Jake EXACTLY how I treat ANYONE I'm not interested in.

Parties are fine. It is ONLY through celestial marriage that we can participate in the highest priesthood ordinances. This IS THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ANY OF US CAN DO. We should exploit any opportunity we have to get to know other people. Parties is one way to do this. Parties can have a purpose.

I STILL have to take measures ALL THE DAMN TIME FOR STUPID MEN TO GET IT WHEN I AM NOOOT INTERESTED IN THEM!!! THIS IS WITH ME BEING CAREFUL. I DON'T GIVE A DAMN IF THAT SEEMS EXTREMELY PRESUMPTUOUS AND CONCEITED. I AM CONCEITED. I KNOW I'M PRETTY AND BRILLIANT AND SPIRITUAL. MEN WILL CONTINUE TO BE INTERESTED IN ME THAT I'M NOT INTERESTED IN. THIS IS HOW I DEAL WITH IT AND EVEN WITH THAT SOME DIE-HARDS PERSIST.

If Jon wasn't my mission leader I could ignore him completely. I look forward to his or my release from these callings so I can do that.