Urban Poly Princess

Yes I have bitterness. Yes I have hatred. AND now I'm going to get over it. In order to do that I'm going to write ALL about my recent experience which was the WORST AND is something I'm NEVER going through again.

CONTEXT-I've just offended David AGAIN and although I don't want to offend him, I just spent the last week going out of my way to talk to him about how I offended him the first time. THE REASON IS RIDICULOUS!!! I've decided I'll talk to him again but I'm NOT going to have a discussion EVERY week with David about offending him. What the hell is his problem??? I pray the WHOLE night AND I got my answer at 3am AND I tell him which... WAIT FOR IT... just offends him again BUUUT I get it now and the answer is stupid and he needs to either step up or get over it NOW. I don't want to go to fhe anymore because he is my leader BUT AFTER praying about how to handle this-he just got finished telling me we can't be friends anymore AND not to email him again.

I decide to let him remove me from his fhe group if he wants that. I'm not going to be the one to remove myself from his group. He is the one with the problem so he can do that himself. I am the ONLY person there besides Mindie and David-my fhe leaders. The week prior to that was me and Nolan-NOT COOL!!! We don't have fhe with JUST me, Mindie and David. INSTEAD we talk about how to improve fhe. To me the biggest concern seems to be getting people to just come to fhe. I try VERY hard to be delicate and NOT focus on "When I was an fhe leader,.."-I specifically ask them if they invite people-which probably offends them. I tell them how Matt and I used to call our entire group EVERY week. David shoots that down immediately saying how people don't want to be bothered and that a text isn't intrusive. David comes to the conclusion that he can only do so much and he can't help it if no one shows up. I refrain from telling him he can do a WHOLE lot to influence his attendance. David and I are not arguing which makes me feel a lot better. AT LEAST we can be civil.

In my head I decide we will NEVER have an fhe like that again. Mindie has the idea that our next fhe can be fondue. During the week I email David and Mindie ideas I have-we can do cheese too and make it a fondue party. We can assign people to bring things-this will increase attendance-we can publicize it-a flyer on the bulletin, flyers to hand out, I volunteer to call everyone the Sunday before AND Monday morning. I REALLY think that is the single most effective thing Matt and I did. We need a slamming spiritual lesson 2. I DON'T receive ANY response.

I'm NOT an idiot!!! David and I just talked about me NOT emailing him SOOO I'm thinking he doesn't want to acknowledge my message-ALRIGHT-I'll just wait until Sunday when I can feel them both out. I take flyers in case that's o.k. I'll have something ready to distribute.

SUNDAY at church-I have the flyers in case it's alright to use them. I have Krista pass him the large flyer to post on the bulletin board. I want him to OK this so I can begin passing them out to our family members. Mindie had made me a copy of the list Monday so I'm thinking it's o.k. BUT I don't want to do anything without their approval. I plan to ask David what he thinks about the flyers immediately after sacrament meeting-BUT he practically RUNS out of there AND I have to chase him down just to ask him what he thinks about the flyer.

He thanks me and I ask him to post what he has on the board. I take that as a green light so I proceed to pass out the flyers I just made. My home teacher Jeff helps me by looking up the people I don't know on his phone and showing me their pictures. In Relief Society I ask Jonni and Jen who are sitting near me to point out the girls I don't know. I meet 3 of our family members I don't know and I've never seen before. PROGRESS!!!

I feel better but I don't know if David or Mindie read my email BECAUSE I WAS SPECIFICALLY TOLD BY DAVID NOOOT TO EMAIL HIM. This is all about FHE however AND I didn't want to call either of them-I didn't include ANYTHING personal so I'm hoping it's o.k. BUT I don't know.

David always plays the piano after church so I know exactly where to find him. Mindie is ALSO right there in an intense discussion with Katie, another one of our fhe members. I talk to David who asks me if I want to be in charge of the fondue party BECAUSE if he or Mindie plan it this will NOT include cheese. He mentions how I had a LOT of ideas and that I should be in charge of it. I don't say ANYTHING. I don't understand why we can't do everything WHILE he and Mindie REMAIN in charge. I think about it and decide they just haven't done things like that before and maybe they don't know where to begin. I decide to take it on and plan to tell David I'll do it at our bishop's fireside later that night. It is David's birthday and I REALLY don't want to fight with him or step on either his or Mindie's toes. With everything he tells me, INCLUDING his reference to my email I determine ...if it's about fhe and I stick just to what I NEED to communicate it should be fine.

THIS IS THE MOMENT WHEN DAVID SHOULD HAVE SAID. PUANANI, WE TALKED ABOUT EMAIL BEFORE, JUST BECAUSE YOU EMAIL ABOUT FHE DOESN'T MEAN IT'S O.K.!!!

SOOO-Later at the bishop's fireside I am going to tell David I'll be in charge BUT he's with a date AND I'M NOT GOING TO INTERRUPT HIS DATE JUST TO TELL HIM I'LL BE IN CHARGE OF FHE.

Later that night I email David agreeing to be in charge of fhe AND offering some fhe ideas too. I specifically ask him to do the lesson because I want a spirit-filled lesson. I still have horror stories about Mindie's first lesson when she READ ALOUD AN ENTIRE ENSIGN ARTICLE TO US. She didn't do this again and I only heard her give 1 other lesson where she DIDN'T read the entire thing which was better BUT I don't remember what she talked about and I didn't feel the spirit. I have felt the spirit several times with David's lessons. I DIDN'T include Mindie in this message because I didn't want her to know how I felt about her lessons which was nothing-WHICH WAS THE PROBLEM!!!

I don't receive ANY response which is alright because David AND Mindie didn't respond to me AT ALL the first time I told them about my fhe ideas. I NEVER CONSIDERED THEY MIGHT NOT GET MY MESSAGE OR MORE ACCURATELY THEY WOULD IGNORE IT AND PRETEND NOT TO HAVE READ IT!!!

I need a crock pot anyway so I buy one along with the cheese sauce, skewers and begin planning-after all I'm in charge OR that's what I assumed anyway-ANY reasonable person would assume this. OF COURSE DAVID IS NOOOT REASONABLE I SHOULD'VE CONSIDERED THAT MORE!!!

As I continue planning the menu I realize the presidential debate is the same night. I decide to turn it into a Debate-Watching Fondue Party. I email David immediately about this latest development AND hear NOTHING FROM HIM BUT NOTHING'S UNUSUAL ABOUT THAT. We can't really have a fondue party without AT LEAST 3 different dips. I decide to also get caramel. I AM STILL TRYING TO INCLUDE DAVID AND MINDIE SO I EMAIL THEM AND ASK THEM TO BRING CHOCOLATE FONDUE IN A CROCK POT, POUND CAKE AND STRAWBERRIES.

I also email EVERYONE on our fhe list AND create a Facebook event for the friends I have in the fhe group.This has now turned into a debate-watching fondue party and I'm trying to change the time to 6:30. BEFORE emailing the entire group I am sure to ASK BOTH MINDIE AND DAVID IF IT'S ALRIGHT TO DO THAT. I don't send the email the entire day because I am trying to keep them involved. OF COURSE I hear nothing-cricketts!!!

Midsingles Conference is happening the weekend before fhe. I see David there and I ask him in person if he and Mindie can bring chocolate fondue, pound cake, and strawberries. He tells me people will bring what they can to dip in chocolate. I ask him didn't he receive my email when I agreed to be in charge? He says no. I DON'T BELIEVE THAT AT ALL!!! I think about the debate and I talk to him AGAIN about how I've changed it to a Debate-Watching Fondue Party.  He tells me he isn't going to watch the debate AND I ask him if that's alright. He says it's fine. AFTER ALL THE PLANNING I'VE ALREADY DONE AND THE MONEY I'VE ALREADY SPENT THIS REVELATION DOES NOT GO OVER WELL WITH ME AT ALL!!! I have no idea why David is pulling this with me. I DON'T believe he NEVER RECEIVED my email. I have to leave the conference because I feel like screaming at David and throwing something at him.

I go home pray, vent on here AND try to calm down. I have to make this work. I've already spent a bunch of money and invited a bunch of people. I have to figure this out. It is Saturday and the fondue party is Monday. Sooo AT LEAST they will be bringing the chocolate fondue. I can buy the cake and strawberries since David and Mindie are bringing what they planned and are pretending NOT to have read my email.

I talk to David at conference and I'm feeling better. I feel like screaming at him when he tells me Mindie likes my DVD idea for the other October fhe. THIS WAS THE SAME EMAIL I WROTE I'D BE IN CHARGE!!! NOW I know for sure David is full of crap. Can I afford right now to be angry???!!! NOOO!!! Instead I have to calm down and finish planning this party and EXECUTE it well.

Sunday I avoid David as much as physically possible. I make 1 last attempt to involve he and Mindie in this. I ask him via text if he and Mindie can take care of the paper products like utensils, plates AND napkins. He ignores it completely and I know despite MANY attempts to involve my leaders they aren't going to do a damn thing.

Monday-I am sooo ticked BUT I can't dwell on that. I get to be friendly and cheery as I put on this fondue party well. I specifically ask David to help me carry in the stuff I have in the car. He does help with this as I proceed to put things together. Mindie is VEEERY helpful. Some visitor guy comes with sausages and cookies. We find dishes for him to stick stuff in and he makes the mistake of asking me if I need help. I DO and although Mindie is helping, David IS NOT!!! I get the visitor to cut the bread into cubes. Helene gets there and she ALSO asks first if I need help. YES I forgot the carrots and ice. I give her money to get these things. AFTER Helene agrees to get this David asks if I need anything. NOOO not right now anyway!!!

David gives a good lesson with the spirit. My nonmember friends DON'T attend and we have as many people there who aren't in our family. We had 12 attend the entire time. I reached my goal of at least 10 but with 30+ members that isn't good. Only David, Mindi, Rudy, Mike and I were actual family members. So 1/6th attendance. That sucks!!! BUT it was still MUUUCH better than just me and my fhe leaders.

All the different times can account for some of the lack of people. David posted the same time with the instruction and implication that there would just be chocolate in the bulletin. Who the hell knows what he and Mindie said to people in person. He did this EVEN though he knew I changed it AND that I was taking cheese and caramel. Krista didn't hold on to her flyer with Mindie's address. She texted me but I didn't get it until much later. That would've been at least one more family member.

I'm glad I got through that. The next morning I finally cracked. I sat there crying for half an hour.

David's latest email made me realize how much I've grown to hate him. He deliberately tried to sabotage my efforts. Ignoring my email was supposed to make it clear that he didn't want me to email him? U can't pick and choose what you choose to respond to in an email. He has the gall to suggest I am trying to be a 3rd group leader when EVERY move I made to involve he and Mindie was ignored? Even after I had talked to him he ignores my text asking him if he and Mindie will take care of paper stuff? He is a complete asshole.

This experience REALLY stretched me. David did not wait to help me clean up OR pack my car. My friend that I invited-Mikako did. Mindie was also extremely helpful. She is an awesome packer.

Now I'm NEVER DISCUSSING THIS AGAIN!!! I am going to continue to help as I can and work on forgiving David. My aunt comes off smelling like roses when I compare her to David. This is all I'm doing and now I can work on getting over this!!! This is me getting out my bitterness and hatred. Now to pray and let the atonement work its magic. I'm going to do a session after I eat.