Saturday, January 18, 2014

Jacob 1

Posted by 2DI4 at 6:19 PM


2 And he gave me, Jacob, a commandment that I should writeupon these plates a few of the things which I considered to be most precious; that I should not touch, save it were lightly, concerning the history of this people which are called the people of Nephi.

 4 And if there were preaching which was sacred, or revelation which was great, or prophesying, that I should engraven the headsof them upon these plates, and touch upon them as much as it were possible, for Christ’s sake, and for the sake of our people.
 5 For because of faith and great anxiety, it truly had been made manifest unto us concerning our people, what things shouldhappen unto them.
6 And we also had many revelations, and the spirit of much prophecy; wherefore, we knew of Christ and his kingdom, which should come.
19 And we did magnify our office unto the Lord, taking upon us the responsibility, answering the sins of the people upon our own heads if we did not teach them the word of God with all diligence; wherefore, by laboring with our might their blood might not come upon our garments; otherwise their blood would come upon our garments, and we would not be found spotless at the last day.
The Strength to Endure - Richard J. Maynes

Endurance is an important principle found within the doctrine of Jesus Christ. It is important because the quality of our eternal future is proportional to our ability to endure in righteousness.
Spiritual endurance also comes at a price. It is the same price: dedication, perseverance, and self-discipline.

 We need to study and learn the fundamental principles of the gospel of Jesus Christ, and then we must do our very best to live them. That is how we become disciples of Jesus Christ, and that is how we build an enduring testimony.
Being spiritually prepared means we have developed spiritual stamina or strength—we will be in good shape spiritually. We will be in such good shape spiritually that we will consistently choose the right. We will become immovable in our desire and ability to live the gospel. 
In order to honorably and successfully finish the race and return to our Heavenly Father, we will need to pay the price of dedication, perseverance, and self-discipline. We need to get into spiritual shape. We need to develop spiritual stamina. We need strong testimonies that will lead to true conversion, and as a result we will find within ourselves the inner peace and strength needed to endure whatever challenges we may face.
May the Spirit of the Lord inspire us all to develop within ourselves the strength to endure. In the name of Jesus Christ, amen.

 I am so grateful for so many blessings I enjoy. That doesn't mean life is easy. I feel so ungrateful. I don't know what else I need to do. Life is amazing but there are still things I pray to receive. There are things I want and I think I'm open to them but I don't know if I am just too picky and ridiculous. I still can't wait to move out of Logan. I hate it here and I'm trying to start a real estate career that is already challenging part time BUT even more so if I haaate this damn place. I went to our activity on Friday which was stupid BUUUT I still went there and I still tried and I keep trying but I don't want to at all. 

 I say in my head and in my heart I want to get married BUT I can't even get excited about anyone I see at my activities. Where else am I going to meet someone LDS? Kyle wasn't there which was very nice. He is the most bland unattractive person I can think of there is no way in hell I'd give him a second thought BUUUT is that all I'm going to have to choose from? The boring Kyles in the world. Another guy from my ward who is thankfully married now was annoying as hell BUUUT he is super unattractive BUUUT he would try like hell. I don't know why it took me so freaking long to figure out he had a thing for me but now when I look back at what he did it is EXTREMELY obvious. Of course then there's someone like Ryan who is intelligent AND spiritual. I can lump him together with Robert Hansen someone else who is smart AND spiritual BUT physically that could NEVER happen. What is my problem. I can't see past that. Am I just going to die single. I thought I would have 3 daughters naturally. I just don't see that happening at all. 

 Justin is the best choice. He's just new in the gospel which I don't like BUUUT he has a testimony which is important. Rich reminded me of how nice it is to be able to connect with someone intellectually which Justin doesn't have BUUUT he isn't stupid although he hasn't gone to school. He has confidence which is nice and I know that's because he's attractive. He is not a dork. I need to get out of here and buy some organic chocolate from Smith's Marketplace and avocados from Walmart. I don't think Justin could ever be a mission president. Ryan will probably be one. Why couldn't I see part his appearance? His wife is perfect for him however. He deserved someone as great as her that could see past that although actually they are well-matched physically too. 

 People have always told me not to end up with certain people AND then in the same breath they tell me they can't imagine me with anyone. My friends now tell me not to go out with anyone from our ward. So where the hell am I supposed to meet people? In a bar? Clubbing? NOOO. I think I need to just resign myself to being single for the rest of my life. I'm sick of trying even although I know I need to. I'll continue to force myself to attend these activities. I'm sure I'll be blessed for that although I have absolutely no faith in that left. I have enough to do whatever I think my Father in Heaven wants me to do but not enough to believe it will actually end with my happiness in this life. I think I'll just do my best but I have no expectations at all. So how the hell do I spread the gospel with this type of attitude?

Encourage people to come to our wonderful activities while I think they suck? Buy this beautiful home in the amazing Cache Valley when I just think it sucks. I am going to have to sell myself first. I know it's true. The gospel is true so why can't I find my forever? Why the hell am I so damn emotional right now? I am crying for nothing and feeling sorry for myself for nothing again. What am I supposed to do? I will never stop trying, I just don't want to try. I'm sick of it.

 Feeling sorry for myself and being a psychotic idiot. So what else is new?

 

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