Urban Poly Princess

I didn't have any specific revelation against this Curtis guy. I never asked but there's nothing to ask and I never asked about Rich. I hope he is strong in the church. He passed the sacrament on Sunday which is a good thing. Mark does that all the time. Annoying usually had some girl he was sitting by so leaving her for a few minutes to pass the sacrament never occurs to him although he did sometimes probably when he didn't have a girl there.

Perhaps this is what I'm supposed to do, find someone who hasn't been to college, lives with his parents still that actually is a cowboy and doesn't want to leave Cache Valley. That is I'm sure my family's worst nightmare. I really do hate it here. I don't think Heavenly Father would make me do something like that. While he is fine enough for me to look forward to finding out more, he reminds me a lot of Krista's fiance Anthony who was raised in a small town in Cache Valley. I don't think he had the dramatic incarceration story Anthony does but there are lots of parallels from what I can see so far. Justin is a lot like Curtis and I did get that I could date him if I wanted. I've never wanted to do that however. I don't want someone who hasn't served a mission or is such a new convert even if he is strong and committed. While Justin does make the effort to look good, Curtis actually knows how to do that and isn't gay. It is a fine line that is rare for men to pull off. They have to be confident. It must be the design thing. A lot of his pictures look like modeling shots. He isn't tall however. Tall too thin modelly types have been my type although I never specifically look for that or anything.

The nice built Poly boys are usually not strong in the church. Tali one of my Facebook friends looks like a bodybuilder. He is divorced, from Hawaii, completely gorgeous HOWEVER he also has 3 sons and never served a mission. He is 1/2 Tongan and has his undergraduate degree in something. I think he manages part of a hotel in Park City. His dad is an art professor at BYU-Hawaii. His mother is white from I forgot where. She is a nurse at the local hospital. He is in Italy right now and keeps posting pictures. He also posted how he wants to go to law school once. I am sooo on board with that idea. His ex-wife seems strong in the church and is remarried to some Hawaiian? guy. They are living in Provo. If I could just get over the mission thing, the kids thing, and the X-wife thing. Hafekasi men will always be the most attractive to me. He also posts about wanting some girl who loves country music and the great outdoors. How the hell did that happen???!!! He posted something about how much he loves girls who are into camping and don't care about makeup. SOOO NOOOT ME!!!

My friend Colton dresses well. He was wrong, wrong, wrong ALTHOUGH I did grow to love him very much. I was never in love with him although that's a good start. That is how it's supposed to work. We never dated each other although we spent a lot of time together and we did go out to eat a lot and went to Sean Kingston together. I also took him to a play and out to eat on his birthday in Salt Lake. I didn't fall in love with him.

How the hell did this happen???!!! I don't get how someone can hurt me when I haven't talked to them in about a year. Whatever-it is my psychotic problem and I've sooo had enough. Maybe Heavenly Father wants me to get over him and is making me think all these things. Maybe annoying thinks this is a nice thing to do. It is NOOOT. I do know right now I'm leaning towards hate and that no matter what I am getting over him as soon as possible. He knows exactly how I feel about the avoidance thing BUT he still did it again. Maybe that was his goal, to deliberately hurt me and make me feel stupid. He certainly accomplished that.

Curtis is just what I need to get over this. I hope I get along with him. He was sooo checking me out Sunday too. Why didn't I have this marvelous power before. I would've had so much fun with it in high school. I would've been a monster however. I should have stayed for Linger Longer to check him out but it was better that I didn't because he and Carrie came out to the parking lot. I am pretty sure he wanted her to see who I was because he wants the low-down. They went right back in after. SERIOUSLY, people and guys are so obvious. Do they think women are blind. Trying to be subtle is fine but I'm not an idiot.

I don't like his livelihood although we could work together as I want to rock the real estate thing. That is a definite plus. I knew the South Valley boys I'd meet would be in the mode to remain here. The next time I move however will be when I get out of this valley of hell forever. My cousin Norman has his PhD in architecture. He travels to China all the time to work. He married my friend from forever Tupou. He does very well financially and Pou doesn't work outside the home. I don't want someone who hasn't finished school and I don't want to have to wait until they do either. I think he believes his stint at Bridgerland is all he needs. I don't think so and no it isn't.

HOWEVER Curtis is absolutely the finest guy I've seen in Cache Valley. Amazing because he's not even 6 feet tall. Even more amazing is that he's in my ward. I know I'll get along with him but I don't know if I'll be able to feel anything about him but I sure as hell am going to try because right now I feel like I'm in some sort of twisted movie. I couldn't bring myself to go to FHE last night. Our group met with Katie's group. I don't know her on purpose because she REALLY likes annoying. One of his MANY fans. He could've gone there and would've avoided me or maybe he would've been nowhere near there and my psychotic mind would play with me and I'd see something that didn't exist. I am sooo happy to be traveling to Salt Lake tonight.

I know that was not right. I know I need to attend FHE and that heavenly father will bless me even if it is hard. I just wasn't up to dealing with people and if she was too friendly like most of his fans are with me I would've snapped at her for nothing or anyone. If I encountered Jen or Carline last night it could've been very, very bad.