Urban Poly Princess

You don't get to choose, you just fall in love and you get this person who is all wrong and all right at the same time. And you know you love them so much except sometimes they drive you completely insane no one can explain it. And the reason it's so confusing is because it's love. And if love didn't have challenges what would be the point.

I saw this Pintrest quote without an author and although I feel a lot of this stuff I don't necessarily believe it. I think you choose who to get to know better and who to spend time with. I don't think you fall in love without that. ALTHOUGH this is the first time I don't feel like I chose this. I was blindsided and I don't like that.

I chose to get to know someone better, that is true although I never thought it was possible to feel something that deep for someone unless I was dating them first and unless they were actively working for my attention. I do love him very much. That's fine, I love many people very much. I don't like that it changed and I don't know exactly when that happened either. I figured it out AFTER I emailed him assuring him that although I loved him very much, I wasn't in love with him. That is how I felt when I sent that.

I am definitely in love with him now which is so messed up. That never goes away for me until I meet and start dating someone else. It's only AFTER dating them that I have even the remotest possibility of falling in love with them. We never spent that much time together something else that defies my beliefs.

Whatever, being in love is supposed to be filled with dates and getting spoiled NOT stress and feeling and acting psychotic.

My conclusion? I have no clue so I am just going to deal with it as best as I can and I have no idea how to do that either.